Like today and many days lately. Being a female I have always had a tendency to shy away from the girly stuff. I was never a girl who dreamed of a prince who would take me away on a white horse for happily ever after. Even as I go older I was always comfortable being single and always shrugged at the idea of marriage. Only now it was because I see so many failed marriages and so much adultery. It scares me. Lately though I have noticed that when I see a man at the store buying flowers I get a feeling of something that is hard to describe. The same is true when a coworker receives flowers at work. I get a tiny pang of sadness that I am 28 and single. I guess lately it is starting to bother me. I think my heart is finally wanting those girly things. I still don’t want a prince I just want something that I can’t out my finger on. A piece of my heart that is being saved for someone. I know girls that have lists. I don’t want some guy to fill a list in my head. I want him to fill that space in my heart God has been saving for him. I don’t expect a fairy tale and I have been told I am shorting myself for expecting less. I don’t even want the stinkin’ flowers although they would be pretty cool I imagine and I am sure they can make a lady feel special. I want the emotion behind the flowers. I have no lists maybe expectations but not list. This is what is shocking me lately. I think the more I learn about myself the more these things are surfacing. The thought of marriage and relationships is one of the scariest things to me. Yet I know it is is something my heart is softening to more and more. So I do surprisingly shock myself sometimes.
